Thursday, November 6, 2008
I wasn't diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder until I was 30. This meant that I had 30 whole years to develop all sorts of horrible coping methods to get through life. No ever really taught me how to be assertive, how to deal with my emotions constructively. This has gotten me into all sort of bad and embarrassing situations. Even now, I find it difficult to act in the 'appropriate' manner. Of course I am human, so I figure that most people act inappropriately every once and a while. I seem to have made an art of form of it. Some times all I can do is just laugh at myself and try to do better the next time. I don't think that most realize how hard people with Bipolar work to fit in with everybody else. I know that I spend and enormous amount of energy controlling my emotions. This has caused some of my family to describe me as 'being tough as nails'. I suppose that is an accurate description. I try so hard not to do the wrong thing, that I come of as gruff and uncaring. Which, if you really knew me, you would know how much I really do care about people. I just don't always have the energy to show it. So try to give people with Bipolar disorder more grace than you would 'regular' people. We just need a little extra time to express ourselves in positive manner.